Loosing My Mind

Another year's flashed on by and still the elevators tell me that I might loose my hand. I guess long ago I was all right, but now it's ok to be alright. I'm so loost that I'm not sure whether I'm seperating or separating. Another ten-fifteen years, and I'll definately be in an asylum.

Perhaps English is moving on and I'm getting left behind. Or is it that the world's moving on and I've gotten off?

Opportunity has but one hair on his head

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to my country." Or something to that effect.
What?!!

"You've been thrown out of Australia. Don't worry, I'll make sure you have a job." Or something to that effect.
Good grief!

Inanities

How are you?
I'm fine, how are you?
How's work?
Isn't it nice outside.....

AARGH!

Helmets and Insurance

Save your head, they say.
Insure your life, they say.
Insure your apartment, they say.
Stick your middle finger at fate, they say.

Social Work

Why is social work considered a higher cause? Everyone does social work.

An example is the the truck driver who blows his horn (blowing everybody's eardrums away) when the traffic signal turns green. Hey... even though he's 10 cars away from the light, it's his duty to inform the guy in the front that the signal has changed. He's so kind to the people being blocked by the insensitive guy in front who's taken one second to get his car into first gear.

What about the guys who stop by the side of the road to water the trees. Hey... the trees need the urea, you know.